DeJong (1994) lists the following steps for a successful mediation:
1. Introduce yourselves as mediators.
2. Ask those in the conflict whether they would like a mediator to help solve the problem.
3. Find a quiet area near the playground or lunchroom where the mediation can be held away from other students.
4. Ask for agreement to the following rules:
(a) They will try to solve the problem.
(b) There will be no name-calling.
(c) They will take turns talking without interrupting.
5. Pledge to keep everything they say confidential.
6. Ask the first person what happened. Paraphrase.
7. Ask the first person how he or she feels. Reflect those feelings.
8. Ask the second person what happened. Paraphrase.
9. Ask the second person how she or he feels. Reflect those feelings.
Looking for Solutions
10. Ask the first person what he or she could have done differently. Paraphrase.
11. Ask the second person what she or he could have done differently. Paraphrase.
12. Ask the first person what he or she can do right now to help solve the problem. Paraphrase.
13. Ask the second person what she or he can do right now. Paraphrase.
14. Use creative questioning to bring the disputants closer to a solution.
Finding a Resolution
Note: A good resolution is one that solves the problem, perhaps for good. It is specific, answering questions of who, where, when, and how. It is balanced, with both disputants having the responsibility to make it work.
15. Help both disputants find a solution they feel good about. (As a last resort, the mediator can offer solutions for the disputants to consider, but this is not preferred.)
16. Repeat the solution and all of its parts, and ask if each disputant agrees to it.
17. Congratulate both students on a successful mediation.
18. Fill out the mediation report form." (p. 9)